Monday, September 17, 2012

September 17, 2012

Same Area same house ya i still got the guitar no elder siles is not in my district :) dont remember where he went this week will be worse than ever i think because 1- i cant speak to well.  2- my companion is very new and 3- im in charge of confirming lunch and leading us there...  yesterday wasnt too bad. i was with elder Norberto hes experianced and he speaks .only lacked knowledge of the area and we found the house alrigtht. but today im still a little sad cuz i got my new companion this morning and we took his bags to the house and we were already late. and i misunderstood the sister we were lost as to were we needed to go. and it was horrible the brother ended up having to come help us. and we were 2 hours late and the brother wasnt to happy... and its my fault. but i said a lot of sorrys and i think were good now. and i know exactly were she lives now. but who knows this can happen again tomorrow or the next or the next cuz i have the name but i dont always remember there face and know the house..... its complicated....  my companion is Brazillian and im happy with this :) hes a pretty nice guys. hes not crazy like me or on my level of toughness but he has a good heart and a willingness to work :) and this brings me joy. i wish he was trainer ha ha my im looking at the bull and in the end i know ill fall off him but its gonna be a bumpy ride and in my view dont look like much fun :j but there is a hope and now that im with a brazilian i will learn the language and because also im in charge and i have to speak next week will be better. i think but this one sure is gonna be rough i feel firm in my knowledge of the church and my testimony and a little firm in my ability to teach. but im not too cofident in my ability to be a missionary. ya ive been here 5 months but my education has been lacking firmness and so im a little scared but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. there always is i guess i just need to forget me and forget about the problems and try alittle harder. I love you guys and i love the gospel and i dont mind being away from home cuz i know this is what i need to be doing. but something i guess is hard for me is that we have many rules and things that we have to do but the enforcement of the rules is on our shoulders mostly. and the help and teaching of what we need to do aint to strong. but i guess its different for all missionarys. i guess i just started the race stumbling. Im not to happy that im training and its gonna be rough but like Elder norberto said to me... Theres a reason for everything Heavenly father knows me and what i need i guess....    in other news its becoming more dificult to email and write in english ha ha i think quickly and i think a little in portuguese. i cant speak fluent but i can understand simple things. and i can reply back i learn so much but i feel like i aint accomplished much :) I wish i could take things part by part instead of trying to swallow the watermelon whole but i guess thats what we are supposed to do in the training we recieive... man what gets me is that there are alot of Elders more experianced that can teach with clarity and  in better portueguese and have more time than me in the mission... and so If Heavenly father is guiding this work why did he choose me to train now why did it have to be me there are elders that pass there whole mission without training so why did i have to start training now.... but I will do my best i was called so ill try to be chosen... IM bout outta time love you guys a ton so if you dont hear more ya so bye :) Love ya, Elder Smith

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